The Most Popular Book in the Whole World (xlormp) wrote,
The Most Popular Book in the Whole World
xlormp

Chapter Three, "A Really Short Chapter"

The Most Popular Book in the Whole World

Chapter 3, "A Really Short Chapter"

The next day the weather was obnoxious and I hated everything. But Lou was in a good mood and he plaited my hair in adorable pigtails, all the time telling me stories about when he was in the war and how you should never eat strawberries in the middle of a battlefield.

I was growing pretty fond of my plywood fairy wagon. Sure, it was completely useless as a vehicle of transport, but Lou had made it for me, and I was growing pretty fond of Lou, too.

I pushed the wagon to Learning Land and tied it firmly yet briskly to a nearby oak tree. Oak trees are very strong trees, with very big leaves that look like oak tree leaves. This oak tree seemed to house a family of birds in its branches, birds with wings, and they were singing a song, "La-di-da", so beautiful I almost sang with them, until I remembered how much I hated everything.

And that's when it happened.

I heard shouting, I turned around and, with a quick glance at her name tag, realized Jessica was screaming, "Look out! Move!" and pointing up.

I looked up, and there was an airplane plummeting to the earth. My first thought was, "Cool," and my second thought was, "Crapcakes." I would have moved out of the way, but my legs felt like I had lead for legs and so instead of moving I just stood there in one place. I thought surely I would die, and wouldn't it be sad that Lou might not even realize it because I'm pretty sure he was drunk this morning, and here it was, my end, very close now, but wait!

Somehow, the airplane stopped moving towards me, and started moving up again! But not on its own. No sirree. From the looks of it, Xlormp had caught it in his mighty webbed grip, and he was flying the plane up, up, and away! Far away. So far away, in fact, that I couldn't see where it went.

The entire school was watching now. As we watched, craning our necks up so we could watch better, we all noticed an explosion happen where Xlormp and the plane were. Then, before I had a chance to fear for his life, Xlormp wafted back to the ground, standing in front of me.

"Whew!" he said, wiping his brow which I'm pretty sure couldn't sweat. "That was a close one, Frig! Good thing you moved slightly to the left before the plane hit!"

I was confused. "Slightly to the left?" I concocted. "I didn't move slightly to the left. You carried the plane away."

I felt Xlormp's cold hand strike me across the face again. "Don't be ridiculous, I did no such thing! Look over there! The plane is as we speak festering away in a flaming fireball!"

I looked where he pointed, and all I saw were picnic tables where kids were eating food.

"No it isn't."

I got hit again. "Stop telling horrible lies, Frig!"

"Hey! Stop hitting me!" I curdled.

Xlormp only laughed. "Hitting you? You're completely crazy, Frig!"

I gazed at him. I loved him so much it ached. Or maybe that was from where he hit me. That was kind of annoying.

Anyway, it was time for school to start, so I tried to shove the event from my brain. There were things I already knew to think about now.

Catch up with the chapters you may have missed somehow!
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