Chapter 23, "An Even Shorter Chapter"
I squinted, trying to make sure I was seeing this right. It couldn't be...surely Xlormp would have been the one to save me?
One glance at her name tag, and I had to accept the truth.
She stood right in front of me now, the gigantic gun hefted over her shoulder. "Hey, Frig. We missed you in school."
I could only blubber. "How did you..."
She grinned, chuckling a little, and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. "You think my brother's the only one who fights aliens around here?"
"Brother? Hector?" My head spun. I groaned and grabbed hold of it.
"Oh, hold on," Christopher said, flipping some switches on the gun and removing a small box, about the size of a...um...a small box. She pressed some superfluously flashing buttons and lifted it to my head.
"What are you doing?" I shrieked.
"I got most of the tallybonkers during the blast, but some of them managed to sneak into your brain. They're probably working through the algorithms of your mind right now...I've got to get them out."
I tried to focus on her words, but they seemed far off, distant...I wondered vaguely if this is what Lou felt before he lost his mind completely...
I felt cold metal press against my right temple.
"Now, don't panic," Christopher explained tenderly, "This may suck a little."
I heard a swift chugging noise.
"Ouch!" I grimaced. My brain felt like it was getting yanked out of my right ear by some brain-yanking hippos or something. I guess Christopher meant "suck" in the literal sense.
"It'll be over in a minute," she soothed, not letting up on the yanking.
Turns out she was right, all of a sudden my headache began to dissipate.
"How did you find me?" I asked, gazing into her face. "How did you know I'd be coming here?"
She winked at me. "I've been stalking you from afar," she said matter-of-factly.
"Oh," I muttered. "That's nice."
I took a step or two forward. That didn't work out so well.
"Christopher?" I attempted.
"I'm going to pass out, now."
** ** **
Okay, after today's chapter, there's only one more chapter and the Epilogue to go. This means that September 17th will be "THE END" for this one. A lot of people have asked if I will publish this. So here's the deal: The following Monday, September 22nd, the print version of The Most Popular Book in the Whole World will be available on Lulu.com! If for some reason reading it online for free is not enough for you, if you want to hold an actual pressed tree-pulp version in your hands, you will soon be able to.
As a way of saying thank you for bothering to spend money on this, the Lulu version will also include two shorts from the "Xlormp Universe", as well as a longer short story by me. This third story isn't in the Xlormp world, in fact, it's somewhat of a departure from what you're used to. So you've been warned, and I hope you like it!
I'll post the link to the book on September 22nd. Along with it, I'll announce the date that Chapter One of the New Moon parody will be posted.
And SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, I'll make a post of all the awesome fanart and icons that have been made since my last fanart/icon post. There has been some awesome crap, you guys, and I love all of it!
I think that's all I've got! Have a good Friday!