First of all, most of the Horrible Book Club, 50 Shades of Grey shenanigans are taking place on the Facebooks: http://www.facebook.com/groups/208100075983569/
If you want to join us, feel free! So far, I'm not sure how well it would translate as a continuation of Xlormp and Frig, because we've got the whole courting/first time all over again thing which wouldn't make any sense given that they're space married.
HOWEVER. This book has still been inspiring to me. I am inspired by the terrible. I am inspired by the fact that it's published, even though it is terrible. And I am inspired by the fact that it is published as its own story, despite BLATANTLY being Twilight fanfic.
I decided, hell, why can't I?
I did a quick, simple edit of The Most Popular Book in the Whole World and sent some query letters to agents.
I've been putting off doing this for a number of reasons. It was just for fun, I don't know if I really want to be an author or whatever, it's blatantly Twilight fanfic (in a mocking sort of way), etc. But the biggest, deepest reason: I didn't think anyone would want it.
It's ridiculous and stupid. It's hard to get into if you aren't feeling Frig's voice right off the bat, even though it does become a legit story later on. And I'm not sure how much of it I'd be willing to change for the sake of a publisher.
But for crap's sake, the reason I wrote it is because I was so mad that Twilight existed, I felt it was my duty to write a better book. Whether or not the Xlormp series actually IS a better work depends on who's reading it (as seen by comments like this
), but it's something I would have much preferred to read, and I still love it when I go back and read it myself. Sometimes, I'll open one of the books to a random page, read a random sentence, and laugh about how brilliant I am to myself. (Is that a weird thing to admit? Probably. At least I think my own jokes are funny, right?)
And reading 50 Shades of Grey is making me pissed off all over again. It's making me want to rework Xlormp into a more readable book, one that could be enjoyed even if you aren't aware that it's a parody of Twilight (though it would still be obvious that it's a parody of idiotic love stories and if you'd read Twilight you'd know automatically).
Doing this will most likely eliminate the "following Twilight chapter-by-chapter" format of the original postings.
Here's what I'm afraid of: I'm afraid I'll end up with a three page novel because so much of what I've got written is a parody of the horrific, useless fluff that comprised the first 350 pages of Smeyer's crap book. I'm afraid re-working the book this way might take away some of its innate silliness.
I'm afraid you won't like it.
If you're reading this, you probably read along while I wrote these books, and you commented, and inspired me to keep going. I want to make the book something that will stand on its own (while still being completely ridiculous), but I don't want to let down the people that loved it first.
I'm going to try it anyway, because I've always thought of it as its own story and some of my least favorite chapters are the ones I wrote just because there had to be an equivalent to the chapter in That Other Series (all the useless stories in Only Slightly Better Than the Last Book, anyone?). But I figured putting my fears into words might help them look less scary. And it kinda did. :)
Not sure if I'm going to share the edited product online anywhere, but who am I kidding, if I do it, I probably will.
Thanks for listening. :)
PS: I got my first two rejections today, one of them even complimented the "poise and polish" of my writing! I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.